Road trip - Day 1 - Phoenix to Sedona

I'm very happy to report that my hip pain has eased enough so that I could take our planned road trip. (We had a backup plan, but two weeks on a beach isn't really our dream holiday.) I'm writing from the hotel on the first evening, reflecting on a great start to the trip.

A friend of mine keeps a micro-blog (short, concise posts about day-to-day events) and I'm going to attempt the same thing for this trip.

The first leg was planned as two hours to get to Sedona, but was broken up by a stop at Montezuma Castle, an Aztec farmer dwelling built into a cliff recess and dating back to the 1100s (pic below). The boys both got their first 'Junior Ranger' badge, a series of challenges and questions designed by the parks service to ensure kids are getting the full benefit of visiting these amazing places. A few stops at viewing points near Sedona to take in the red rock formations, followed by a quick dip in the pool, dinner, and a view of the sunset over the rocks..perfect!

(The next post will be a micro post, honest!)

A hip update

I went for a two week post-op appointment on Thursday and had a good discussion with one of the orthopedic team, not the surgeon. It seems that our expectations of how long the pain would last were not realistic. He wasn't surprised at all that I was still in a lot of pain after two weeks and admitted that the surgeons have a tendency to underplay how long the recovery will be. It makes sense when you think about it that any procedure where the bone is traumatised (by drilling a hole into it) would take quite a few weeks to recover. The surrounding muscle tissue also needs to heal. He expected that I would get some relief in the next couple of weeks and explained that it would probably be 3-6 months before we really know if the surgery has been successful.

I have found over the last couple of nights that I can sleep for longer between doses of pain meds and during the day the pain hasn't been quite as intense.

It seems like it's going to be a longer recovery than we expected but at least there's light at the end of the tunnel.

These posts are way too dry....here's some hip humour...

A Pain in the A***

When I signed off my last blog, I'd hoped that the next post would be a review of some exotic foreign city I'd been to on my travels. Unfortunately, things haven't quite worked out that way and I'm conscious that we haven't updated many of you on the last few weeks events.

Towards the end of my cancer treatment I was also having physiotherapy for what I thought at the time was sciatica (lower back pain, caused by a herniated disc). After six weeks without any improvement I went for an MRI scan and the results came back showing that I have avascular necrosis (link). In a nutshell, this is the degradation of my hip bone most likely caused by the steroids that I was taking to reduce the swelling around the tumours.

After a couple of cortisone injections that weren't effective, the orthopedic team I'm working with decided to perform a core decompression (link). This involves drilling a small hole into the femur head to relieve pressure and stimulate bone growth. Sounds like fun, eh?

I had that surgery a little over a week ago and have been recovering at home, on crutches, since. The pain from the original condition was bad, but since the surgery I've been in more pain than I ever thought bearable. I'm trying hard not to over-dramatise, and regular readers will know that I generally tell it like it is, but this has been tough. I find I'm counting the hours until I can take the next dose of (very strong) painkillers.

A lot of people have asked "how long until you'll get some relief?" and it's very difficult to answer. The surgeon told me beforehand that results from this procedure are 'mixed' and each patient recovers at a different rate. I can only hope that the pain I'm feeling now is the bone regenerating itself and that the decompression will achieve what was intended. If it does, then I've been told I should be able to resume normal activities (cycling, but no running) in six weeks or so.

That's been one of the hardest aspects of the last couple of months. This all came to light just as Minnesota was entering its beautiful springtime and the cyclists started flooding out onto the roads. It also means that I've had to pull out of the MS150 in June that I talked about last time - bugger!

So, there we are, another chapter. I'm just hoping it will be a short one and that next time I can bring more positive news.

Notes From a Survivor

Wow! Where to begin...???

A year and five months since my diagnosis, my neurosurgeon told me today that last Friday's MRI scan was all clear. As I write the words, they just don't seem big enough. What he actually said was "your scan looks wonderful", which from him is quite a statement. He was brutally honest when giving us tough news, so it was quite refreshing to hear him use those words.

I couldn't do a thing at work this afternoon. My boss sent me home to be with Anna and the boys. Nothing I would do at work would be as important as sharing this sense of relief and happiness with them.

Here's my sister, Michelle, and Anna and me, celebrating on both sides of the Atlantic.

I guess the sense of relief was heightened because we had to wait over the weekend for the results and, although we didn't talk about it much, it was in the back of our minds the whole weekend. It feels like the start of life getting back to normal. I've been so frustrated having to tell the boys that I couldn't play a game because I was too tired during chemo week, and missing out on Patrick's basketball tournaments because I couldn't get out of bed. I've mentioned before that I can't wait to get back to travelling too. Although that'll feel strange for all of us at first, it will also be a visible signal to the boys that life is getting back to normal.

Somebody once said "it's not work when you love what you're doing". That's how I feel about getting back to overseas projects. That's what I signed up for. I work with an amazing, diverse group of colleagues; we get to travel together to interesting places, learn from each other and learn from the people we're visiting; we get to experience a little of the culture in those places, try the food, and drink whatever the locals drink; and all of this while trying to help Cargill be a better organisation. I can't overstate how satisfying it is and how much I'm going to enjoy getting back to it.

I'll still complete the February round of chemo, then give my blood a month or so to recover and hopefully be on the road in April.

All of that said, we're still keeping our feet on the ground. We know that the grade of tumour I had was very aggressive and I was fighting it in two places. In my mind that just makes me more determined than ever to follow my own advice on eating well and exercising (link).

With that in mind, my next challenge is to complete the MS150 - a two-day, 150-mile bike-ride from Duluth to Minneapolis, all in aid of Multiple Sclerosis. More to come on that.

With regard to the future of the blog, I think I'm done with talking about my cancer journey. I found it really beneficial to write down how I've been feeling, how this journey has affected Anna and the boys, the painful and the peculiar aspects, and how we tried to deal with it all. The support and comments I've had through the blog have been truly touching. Thank you, sincerely, to all of you who read, commented, and supported all of us throughout it all. We couldn't have come this far without you.

Big hugs

Vancouver

Vancouver always seems to be one of those cities that rank highly in the 'Top 10 places to live' lists, which is probably why it's always been on my mental list of cities to visit. So it was nice to spend a few days there this week to get our US visas renewed.

Overall, Vancouver has a very culturally diverse feel; from the art and totem poles of the First Nation people through to the cultures and great food of the Europeans and Asians who've settled since. I loved the 'melting pot' feel of the place. Here are a few of my favourite moments from this week's trip:

• A leisurely drive around the city with a stop in Stanley Park - a 1,000-acre evergreen oasis which has a 5.5 mile seawall path and drive around the edge.

The boys and a really old tree!

• The spectacular "Sea to sky highway", which took us from the city to the ski resort of Whistler in less than two hours. I can honestly say it was the best drive of my life. Within ten minutes of leaving the city there are mountains on one side and the islands of the Straight of Georgia on the other, the road rising and gently curving between them.

• "Whoa!!" - Patrick's reaction to his first sight of the peak-to-peak gondola that we rode from Whistler to Blackcomb mountains. It spans 2.7 miles and drops 1,400ft into the valley. We waited an extra ten minutes for one of the glass-bottom gondolas to enhance the experience. Truly spectacular!

• All of us trying Caribbean food for the first time. We tried to choose a different style of food each night so, after traditional Canadian, Spanish tapas, and Japanese sushi, we opted for a funky Caribbean restaurant called Calabash Bistro. The atmosphere, aided by a live dj, great art, and no empty tables, was warm and convivial. (Perhaps it was helped by having the biggest rum list in Vancouver?!) The food was delicious and Richard ate a mountain of it.

• Capilano suspension bridge - spanning 446ft with a 230ft drop - it was a clear highlight for the boys. As well as the thrill of the bridge itself, there were treetop walkways, scavenger hunts, and 1,300 year-old trees to see.

The bridge park has the largest collection of totem poles in North America

Don't look down!

Here's a link to the rest of our photographs from the trip, if you're interested: Vancouver album

When I'm on work trips, I've often left interesting and beautiful places feeling like I wanted to return with Anna and the boys. The beauty of this trip was that I could share the discovery with them. All of us fell in love with Vancouver this week.
Until next time.

Getting my wings back

My apologies dear readers, I've been slacking. I just checked and it's over a month since I last wrote - where did that time go? Well, I took on a new role at work, celebrated Patrick's 10th birthday, participated in a leadership course, attended a friend's book launch (more on that in a future post), and completed two more rounds of chemotherapy. So, y'know, it's not like I've been twiddling my thumbs!

(I hope you've all been working on the basis that 'no news is good news'.)

The last round of chemo (3 of 6) was a little tougher than the couple before. I was far more nauseous and fatigued (and I believe a little less conversational!), but I bounced back fairly quickly and was back at work by the middle of the following week. I do have the feeling that I'm more fortunate than many cancer patients I've read and heard about, who are completely incapacitated during chemotherapy treatments. Anyway, we're half-way through and I'm starting to think about life post-treatment.

When I started the blog in 2009, I called it 'Notes from Here and There' to write about the weird and wonderful places I was visiting as part of my job in Audit . My fervent hope is that this space returns to that idea in the spring. (If you're not a big reader of travel blogs then I won't be offended if you don't tune in!) The last round of chemo should be in February, then my oncologist has said that my immune system will take a month or so to recover, so I hope to start travelling again in April or May. Excited doesn't even come close!

One part of my new role (one of four Team Leads - less actual risk assessment, more coaching and planning) is organising which auditors go out to which global projects. I remember the immense excitement I felt in early 2010 when my Team Lead told me I would be going to India and Australia within a couple of months of each other. Now I'm on the other side of that conversation, it's both a pleasure to see colleagues' reactions (unless they're going to Iowa!) and a source of frustration as I want to be out there with them.

We do have a little trip coming up in a few weeks time. We need to go to Vancouver to renew our US visas. I'm already thrilled about the possibilities of seeing a city that I haven't been to before and is reportedly very beautiful. It always seems to appear in those lists of 'top 5 great cities to live'.

I'll finish with a great shot of Patrick and his friends at his birthday celebration, all finding it hilarious to shout 'fart' at just the right moment!

ps. A big shout out to my two readers in Bosnia & Herzegovina this month(or my one reader who read the same post twice!). Zdravo, kako ste?

Times when I forget

Last week I went for one of my (now quarterly) MRI scans and went through the results with the oncologist this morning. The scans show evidence of some scar tissue and radiation effects, but no concerning changes to either tumour site - just what we wanted to hear. Every time we go through this, the few days between scan and results are a little nerve-wracking. Again, it's just something we'll get more and more used to as time passes. The 'new normal' around here. Anyway, it was a good start to the week and I've also been signed off to start the second round of chemo tomorrow.

One thing I've noticed recently is a great feeling of actually forgetting that I'm a cancer patient. I think on some level I'm always conscious that I'm fighting it. There are the visual clues of hair loss and surgery scars; when I'm riding, part of me is thinking that every pedal stroke is kicking sand in cancer's face; and often when I'm driving I'll drift into 'how did I get here?' moments.

Recently though, I've experienced moments of being so completely involved in something that afterwards I realised that I hadn't given the battle a thought for a while. Recent examples include a couple of hours of hilarious fun on jet-skis with Craig, my oldest friend (he's not actually that old, I've just known him a long time!). Coaching Patrick's football team to a win (or even a loss) has a similar, all-consuming effect. An impromptu night of wine and laughs with Mary and Daniel works well too, I've found.
Anyway, the feeling is absolutely blissful and, happily, is becoming more common.

Before I sign off, I just wanted to post my favourite image of last week...Anna smiling during the Twin Cities marathon - her first (and now it seems, not her last!). I'm not going to gush too much here, but...SHE'S AWESOME!

That's all for now - big hugs

ps. Remember I mentioned a few weeks ago that my blog stats were showing up a couple of views from Tanzania (strange). This week I see that Latvia is the oddball country on the list. So, "hello" to my Latvian friend(s). When I get a hit from Kurdistan, I'll be a happy man.