Notes From a Survivor

Wow! Where to begin...???

A year and five months since my diagnosis, my neurosurgeon told me today that last Friday's MRI scan was all clear. As I write the words, they just don't seem big enough. What he actually said was "your scan looks wonderful", which from him is quite a statement. He was brutally honest when giving us tough news, so it was quite refreshing to hear him use those words.

I couldn't do a thing at work this afternoon. My boss sent me home to be with Anna and the boys. Nothing I would do at work would be as important as sharing this sense of relief and happiness with them.

Here's my sister, Michelle, and Anna and me, celebrating on both sides of the Atlantic.

I guess the sense of relief was heightened because we had to wait over the weekend for the results and, although we didn't talk about it much, it was in the back of our minds the whole weekend. It feels like the start of life getting back to normal. I've been so frustrated having to tell the boys that I couldn't play a game because I was too tired during chemo week, and missing out on Patrick's basketball tournaments because I couldn't get out of bed. I've mentioned before that I can't wait to get back to travelling too. Although that'll feel strange for all of us at first, it will also be a visible signal to the boys that life is getting back to normal.

Somebody once said "it's not work when you love what you're doing". That's how I feel about getting back to overseas projects. That's what I signed up for. I work with an amazing, diverse group of colleagues; we get to travel together to interesting places, learn from each other and learn from the people we're visiting; we get to experience a little of the culture in those places, try the food, and drink whatever the locals drink; and all of this while trying to help Cargill be a better organisation. I can't overstate how satisfying it is and how much I'm going to enjoy getting back to it.

I'll still complete the February round of chemo, then give my blood a month or so to recover and hopefully be on the road in April.

All of that said, we're still keeping our feet on the ground. We know that the grade of tumour I had was very aggressive and I was fighting it in two places. In my mind that just makes me more determined than ever to follow my own advice on eating well and exercising (link).

With that in mind, my next challenge is to complete the MS150 - a two-day, 150-mile bike-ride from Duluth to Minneapolis, all in aid of Multiple Sclerosis. More to come on that.

With regard to the future of the blog, I think I'm done with talking about my cancer journey. I found it really beneficial to write down how I've been feeling, how this journey has affected Anna and the boys, the painful and the peculiar aspects, and how we tried to deal with it all. The support and comments I've had through the blog have been truly touching. Thank you, sincerely, to all of you who read, commented, and supported all of us throughout it all. We couldn't have come this far without you.

Big hugs