My life was changed forever. I feel like I want to mark the occasion somehow, but I honestly don't know exactly how I feel about it. I know that some cancer patients mark the anniversary of the date they are pronounced 'cancer free'. But as I'm not, there's nothing to celebrate. This was the toughest year of my life. Anna and I reached the lowest lows and cried more tears than we had in the previous ten years. On the other hand, I've come through two surgeries, two tiring bouts of radiation, a few rounds of chemo, and I'm still fighting. Furthermore...
So, there, I've marked the occasion. It's not positive, it's not negative, it just is what it is.
- I've grown closer to family and friends
- I'm appreciating the everyday moments more - bedtime chats with the boys, a good meal with friends, a chat and a glass of wine with Anna.
- I'm more conscious of how I look after my body
- I'm working hard and enjoying it more than ever
- I'm having more fun and laughs
- I don't dwell on what people think too much (a gift normally reserved for the elderly!)
So, there, I've marked the occasion. It's not positive, it's not negative, it just is what it is.
I thought about little else yesterday, quiet reflections on the most difficult of years I've known. We see things so differently now and the value of friendship for one thing has been taken to a whole new level, both on your side of the pond and mine.
ReplyDeleteYou've come such a long way- who'd have thought you'd be doing a duathlon this time last year? You inspire me every day, you make me proud every day, you make me smile every day.
Keep at it kidda! Y'no, part of my soul didn't make it back to the UK, it's right there beside you, your big sis keeping a watchful eye.
Love you
Masha xxxxxxx
a year ago omg how that has flown, although I am not sure it will have done for you.
ReplyDeleteyour achievments and strength have touched so many of your family and friends bazza which is something you must be proud of
i speak for many when i say what an inspiration you and anna are and how proud i am to say that you are both friends of mine
in that year you have made your blog such that we all look foward to the next one so we can feel that little bit closer even though we are so many miles away
what a fitting way to mark this day by another very positive, inspirational and very personal account of this last year
we are all truly blessed and fortunate to you both in our lives
keep that fight going you are doing a fantastic job
luv to you all
carol
xx
I'm so glad you posted this. The one year marker is a good time for reflection, and it's good to hear your thoughts. I might post them on my bathroom mirror! I think the uncertainty of what to expect this first year was so hard. I'm glad you're through the toughest year of your life.
ReplyDeleteYou and Anna have been a huge influence on me this year in how you approached everything, learned and shared what you learned. Green tea and turmeric. Managing energy to get the most out of the day. Setting goals as a motivating force....think writing, publishing, parenting, working, reading, marathon training, cycling, kids triathlon, Ted Talks, fundraising. Whenever I feel inertia coming on I think of the photo of Anna and I tubing, and me hanging on for dear life, and it's usually enough to snap me out of it. (usually...).
Love you both! Thx for the reflections Baz...
Carla
"It just is what it is." I like that. Pretty good description of much of our lives. As always, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteKelly
You may be a man now but you are still my little boy Barry and I just wish that it really was possible to kiss you and make it all better. Being so far away from you has made it so hard knowing what you were going through, but watching your courage and what you have achieved in this last year has been incredible. Both you and Anna are an inspiration to everyone. I am so proud to call you my son and can't wait to see you next week. Love you so much. xxxx
ReplyDeleteA note from the wife...
ReplyDeletePrecisely, "it just is what it is." This seems to be the only way we can deal with all that has been thrown at us. Yes, life is different to how it was just over a year ago. I know for sure I am different. Each new obstacle has been a stepping stone for my emotional strength. I can now hold conversations about subjects that would have reduced me to tears (as you said above) last year - now they are everyday discussions. My perspective on life has changed too but, far from the ideal behind the cliche you mentioned above, I think we can all say we'd prefer it hadn't.
During the past year, many have asked not only how you are doing, but also how I am coping. Your strength and positivity is infectious - I often find myself telling people that you make my role an easy one. Maybe 'easy' is an exaggeration, but the fact remains that you have supported me through this tough year as much as I have supported you (or at least I hope I have!)
Barry, you and Anna are an inspiration to us all! I have often thought about your experiences over the last year and have admired your fight to, not only beat cancer, but to live each day to it's fullest! I agree with Carla...words to live by for us all! I certainly have made more of an effort to put "a greater focus on the important things!" Thanks for your inspiration and words or wisdom. Hugs to you all! Michael
ReplyDeleteevery day....i just think..how lucky i am..and you have heavily contributed to that feeling..thank you xxx lacey x
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