A long-overdue post

First of all my apologies to those of you who used to follow this blog to keep up with my treatment progress. Much has changed since I updated about our road trip last summer. With our relocation back home in December, I just never got around to writing again.

Unfortunately, last July a scan showed that the tumour had returned so I had surgery in August and another couple of months of medical leave and virtually a carbon copy of what I went through post-surgery in 2010 - problems caused by the steroids and another incision infection. That all meant that I couldn't start chemotherapy until we got back to the UK in December, four months after surgery.

Sadly, another scan just before Christmas showed that the tumour was showing signs of regrowth. We talked to a couple of neurosurgeons in Nottingham about further surgery but decided to repeat a few more rounds of chemotherapy. I'm just coming to the end of round 5 at the moment.

The big kick in the teeth in all of this was the surgeon telling me that I couldn't drive over here. It seems that the DVLA rules are quite strict about driving if you've had recent brain surgery and while I totally understand the reasons and logic behind it, it's been extremely difficult to accept. Remember that feeling of independence when you first passed your driving test? Well, it's like having that independence ripped away from you. I love driving. For me, it's not just about getting from A to B. I miss the drive to work through the country roads, I miss long cruises down the motorway, and I really miss the practicality of taking the boys to and from their various activities and having that time to talk along the way.

Anyway, grumble over. We're trying, more than ever, to do lots of stuff as a family and make the absolute most of the weeks that I'm not taking chemo. Recent highlights have been a weekend in London with the boys, a weekend at Grandma and Grandad's while I took the boys to see their first premier league game (although the 4-0 defeat to Man City took the shine off the experience a little), and a few days for Anna and I cycling and relaxing in the Cotswolds.

I'll have another scan in a few weeks and we'll determine the next steps from there.
Until next time

Days 10-14 - Snowmass to Boulder, Co.

Snowmass Village is primarily a ski resort, around 20 minutes from Aspen, but it's a beautiful place to stay in summer too (and a little less pretentious than Aspen!). The highlight of our stay was renting bikes to ride from the village into Aspen, mostly downhill but with a couple of challenging climbs. It was only ten miles, but the altitude and the heat took their toll so we made frequent water stops. That was ok though as the views were amazing.

Boulder is a great little town - a base camp for outdoor pursuits nearby. I love the energy created by all the activity as people prepare for their next adventure or wind down from their last one.

Spectacular drive no. 3 on this trip was today's journey along the 'Trail Ridge Road' (link), the highest continuously paved road in the US. It winds along the north edge of the Rocky Mountain National Park  and climbs to a maximum elevation of 12,183ft.

A number of things made the day great - playing in the snow, scrambling up to the highest point (and running back down in a hailstorm), and generally enjoying the drive and the scenery. However, we were all blown away once again when we got within 20 feet of a couple of male elk. Anna brought our attention to them with a sharp intake of breath and some hand gestures, but no words. As we jumped out of the car and started to approach them they seemed unfazed by our presence and just carried on chewing the cud and looking majestic. (I swear I heard one of them say "Have you seen my antlers, they're quite marvelous, aren't they?") We were told that the females and young were just over the hill and sure enough we walked a little further and saw about 40 of them down in the valley. Amazing to see them in their natural environment just doing their thing.

(c) Anna Mongan - she's quite proud of this one!

Well, that's it! We fly home tomorrow after a journey filled with "Wow!" moments and a lot of fun and relaxation along the way. This was the road trip I always had in mind and the reality was so much better than the dream. I hope one day the boys look back at these notes and remember some of the amazing stuff we've seen and done.
Until next time...

Days 7-9 - Moab, Ut, to Grand Junction, Co.

It seems like every place we stay on this trip, we feel like we need another few days to take advantage of all there is to do. Moab is famous for great mountain biking, hiking, and rafting on the Colorado river. It's been added to the list of places to come back to, maybe when the boys are older and we can do more of the adrenaline sports.

We spent most of yesterday hiking and scrambling in Arches National Park, which we've all said has jumped above Monument Valley in our list of spectacular-ness! Most of the morning was spent hiking to Delicate Arch, (pictured below), which blew us all away as we turned the corner and caught our first glimpse of it. Actually, it almost literally blew us away as the winds were terrific. The boys and I climbed into the arch itself and gave Anna some mild heart palpitations as we stood in front of the 300ft drop on the other side. It had to be done!

We visited another five or six arches and spent quite a bit of time in the visitor centre learning about the history of the park - mostly to help the boys complete their third Junior Ranger badge, and partly because this trip has turned me into a geology nerd!

This morning, outstanding drive No.2 on this trip connected Moab to Grand Junction and followed the Colorado River along the valley floor, surrounded by the redstone walls of the canyon. Splendid!

Next stop, Snowmass Village near Aspen, Co.

Days 4-6 - Monument Valley to Moab, UT

This post might be a little fuzzy. We just landed in Moab, Utah, after a few days on an Native American reservation where there is no alcohol sold or served in restaurants. A quick visit to the liquor store on arrival, a glass of wine with dinner, another glass in the hotel room and the world makes sense again!

We've had a relaxing few days in Kayenta, around 20 miles south of Monument Valley. After the intensity of the Grand Canyon visit, we felt like a couple of slow days with plenty of swimming and reading time. Patrick and Richard appreciated more time around the pool too.

We did squeeze in a visit to the Four Corners yesterday - the only place in the US that four states meet. The boys wanted to go there from the time we first announced the road trip and had great fun putting themselves in all four states at once.

A few posts ago I said that the drive from Vancouver to Whistler was one of the best I'd ever done. I would now add the Monument Valley drive to that (short) list. There's a 17-mile dirt track that takes you right into the valley and around some of the biggest rock formations. It's bumpy and sandy and requires a little focus, but I loved the sensation of driving next to those imposing monuments. I talked to one of the Navajo horse-trail riders and he told me they'd just returned from a four-hour ride where they saw wild mustangs. If only we'd had more time.

The boys in front of the 'Three Sisters' and a Monument Valley Ranch

After a three-hour drive north we arrived in Moab, Utah, and already love the place...a stunning redstone backdrop, off-beat stores, good coffee, and a book shop. I'm glad we booked for three nights!

Road Trip - Days 2 & 3 - Sedona to Grand Canyon

The red rocks around Sedona all have nicknames which represent their shapes (although sometimes you have to use a little imagination!) and everyone agreed we had to go and see 'Snoopy' (see photo below) before we left. We also had a quick walk through uptown Sedona but we were all keen to hit the road and head towards the Grand Canyon.

One of my favourite moments of the trip so far is the boys' reaction to their first view of the canyon..."It's so big!" and "whoa!" stick in my mind. No matter how many photographs I'd seen of it and whatever preconceived ideas I had, nothing prepared me for the sheer scale and unusualness of it (I'm sure there's a better word out there for the sight of weird rock formations, but for the moment I can't think of one).

We spent most of today, Sunday, exploring the viewing points on the south rim. There are shuttle buses running from point to point to discourage people from driving. Anna and I both said that we couldn't tire of taking in such magnificent views.

As a final treat for all of us, and to get a unique view of this amazing place, we took a helicopter flight over and into the canyon. I won't go into details here as I don't have the words to describe the experience, but a couple of moments were unforgettable. The first four or five minutes of the journey were over forest and we could see the canyon rim approaching - the feeling of crossing over it and seeing the one-mile drop below was simply mind-blowing. Another personal favourite was flying a few hundred feet below the north rim and having the sensation of actually being 'in' the canyon.

Next stop...Monument Valley (home of the Navajo Indians and cowboy movies)...

Road trip - Day 1 - Phoenix to Sedona

I'm very happy to report that my hip pain has eased enough so that I could take our planned road trip. (We had a backup plan, but two weeks on a beach isn't really our dream holiday.) I'm writing from the hotel on the first evening, reflecting on a great start to the trip.

A friend of mine keeps a micro-blog (short, concise posts about day-to-day events) and I'm going to attempt the same thing for this trip.

The first leg was planned as two hours to get to Sedona, but was broken up by a stop at Montezuma Castle, an Aztec farmer dwelling built into a cliff recess and dating back to the 1100s (pic below). The boys both got their first 'Junior Ranger' badge, a series of challenges and questions designed by the parks service to ensure kids are getting the full benefit of visiting these amazing places. A few stops at viewing points near Sedona to take in the red rock formations, followed by a quick dip in the pool, dinner, and a view of the sunset over the rocks..perfect!

(The next post will be a micro post, honest!)

A hip update

I went for a two week post-op appointment on Thursday and had a good discussion with one of the orthopedic team, not the surgeon. It seems that our expectations of how long the pain would last were not realistic. He wasn't surprised at all that I was still in a lot of pain after two weeks and admitted that the surgeons have a tendency to underplay how long the recovery will be. It makes sense when you think about it that any procedure where the bone is traumatised (by drilling a hole into it) would take quite a few weeks to recover. The surrounding muscle tissue also needs to heal. He expected that I would get some relief in the next couple of weeks and explained that it would probably be 3-6 months before we really know if the surgery has been successful.

I have found over the last couple of nights that I can sleep for longer between doses of pain meds and during the day the pain hasn't been quite as intense.

It seems like it's going to be a longer recovery than we expected but at least there's light at the end of the tunnel.

These posts are way too dry....here's some hip humour...

A Pain in the A***

When I signed off my last blog, I'd hoped that the next post would be a review of some exotic foreign city I'd been to on my travels. Unfortunately, things haven't quite worked out that way and I'm conscious that we haven't updated many of you on the last few weeks events.

Towards the end of my cancer treatment I was also having physiotherapy for what I thought at the time was sciatica (lower back pain, caused by a herniated disc). After six weeks without any improvement I went for an MRI scan and the results came back showing that I have avascular necrosis (link). In a nutshell, this is the degradation of my hip bone most likely caused by the steroids that I was taking to reduce the swelling around the tumours.

After a couple of cortisone injections that weren't effective, the orthopedic team I'm working with decided to perform a core decompression (link). This involves drilling a small hole into the femur head to relieve pressure and stimulate bone growth. Sounds like fun, eh?

I had that surgery a little over a week ago and have been recovering at home, on crutches, since. The pain from the original condition was bad, but since the surgery I've been in more pain than I ever thought bearable. I'm trying hard not to over-dramatise, and regular readers will know that I generally tell it like it is, but this has been tough. I find I'm counting the hours until I can take the next dose of (very strong) painkillers.

A lot of people have asked "how long until you'll get some relief?" and it's very difficult to answer. The surgeon told me beforehand that results from this procedure are 'mixed' and each patient recovers at a different rate. I can only hope that the pain I'm feeling now is the bone regenerating itself and that the decompression will achieve what was intended. If it does, then I've been told I should be able to resume normal activities (cycling, but no running) in six weeks or so.

That's been one of the hardest aspects of the last couple of months. This all came to light just as Minnesota was entering its beautiful springtime and the cyclists started flooding out onto the roads. It also means that I've had to pull out of the MS150 in June that I talked about last time - bugger!

So, there we are, another chapter. I'm just hoping it will be a short one and that next time I can bring more positive news.

Notes From a Survivor

Wow! Where to begin...???

A year and five months since my diagnosis, my neurosurgeon told me today that last Friday's MRI scan was all clear. As I write the words, they just don't seem big enough. What he actually said was "your scan looks wonderful", which from him is quite a statement. He was brutally honest when giving us tough news, so it was quite refreshing to hear him use those words.

I couldn't do a thing at work this afternoon. My boss sent me home to be with Anna and the boys. Nothing I would do at work would be as important as sharing this sense of relief and happiness with them.

Here's my sister, Michelle, and Anna and me, celebrating on both sides of the Atlantic.

I guess the sense of relief was heightened because we had to wait over the weekend for the results and, although we didn't talk about it much, it was in the back of our minds the whole weekend. It feels like the start of life getting back to normal. I've been so frustrated having to tell the boys that I couldn't play a game because I was too tired during chemo week, and missing out on Patrick's basketball tournaments because I couldn't get out of bed. I've mentioned before that I can't wait to get back to travelling too. Although that'll feel strange for all of us at first, it will also be a visible signal to the boys that life is getting back to normal.

Somebody once said "it's not work when you love what you're doing". That's how I feel about getting back to overseas projects. That's what I signed up for. I work with an amazing, diverse group of colleagues; we get to travel together to interesting places, learn from each other and learn from the people we're visiting; we get to experience a little of the culture in those places, try the food, and drink whatever the locals drink; and all of this while trying to help Cargill be a better organisation. I can't overstate how satisfying it is and how much I'm going to enjoy getting back to it.

I'll still complete the February round of chemo, then give my blood a month or so to recover and hopefully be on the road in April.

All of that said, we're still keeping our feet on the ground. We know that the grade of tumour I had was very aggressive and I was fighting it in two places. In my mind that just makes me more determined than ever to follow my own advice on eating well and exercising (link).

With that in mind, my next challenge is to complete the MS150 - a two-day, 150-mile bike-ride from Duluth to Minneapolis, all in aid of Multiple Sclerosis. More to come on that.

With regard to the future of the blog, I think I'm done with talking about my cancer journey. I found it really beneficial to write down how I've been feeling, how this journey has affected Anna and the boys, the painful and the peculiar aspects, and how we tried to deal with it all. The support and comments I've had through the blog have been truly touching. Thank you, sincerely, to all of you who read, commented, and supported all of us throughout it all. We couldn't have come this far without you.

Big hugs

Vancouver

Vancouver always seems to be one of those cities that rank highly in the 'Top 10 places to live' lists, which is probably why it's always been on my mental list of cities to visit. So it was nice to spend a few days there this week to get our US visas renewed.

Overall, Vancouver has a very culturally diverse feel; from the art and totem poles of the First Nation people through to the cultures and great food of the Europeans and Asians who've settled since. I loved the 'melting pot' feel of the place. Here are a few of my favourite moments from this week's trip:

• A leisurely drive around the city with a stop in Stanley Park - a 1,000-acre evergreen oasis which has a 5.5 mile seawall path and drive around the edge.

The boys and a really old tree!

• The spectacular "Sea to sky highway", which took us from the city to the ski resort of Whistler in less than two hours. I can honestly say it was the best drive of my life. Within ten minutes of leaving the city there are mountains on one side and the islands of the Straight of Georgia on the other, the road rising and gently curving between them.

• "Whoa!!" - Patrick's reaction to his first sight of the peak-to-peak gondola that we rode from Whistler to Blackcomb mountains. It spans 2.7 miles and drops 1,400ft into the valley. We waited an extra ten minutes for one of the glass-bottom gondolas to enhance the experience. Truly spectacular!

• All of us trying Caribbean food for the first time. We tried to choose a different style of food each night so, after traditional Canadian, Spanish tapas, and Japanese sushi, we opted for a funky Caribbean restaurant called Calabash Bistro. The atmosphere, aided by a live dj, great art, and no empty tables, was warm and convivial. (Perhaps it was helped by having the biggest rum list in Vancouver?!) The food was delicious and Richard ate a mountain of it.

• Capilano suspension bridge - spanning 446ft with a 230ft drop - it was a clear highlight for the boys. As well as the thrill of the bridge itself, there were treetop walkways, scavenger hunts, and 1,300 year-old trees to see.

The bridge park has the largest collection of totem poles in North America

Don't look down!

Here's a link to the rest of our photographs from the trip, if you're interested: Vancouver album

When I'm on work trips, I've often left interesting and beautiful places feeling like I wanted to return with Anna and the boys. The beauty of this trip was that I could share the discovery with them. All of us fell in love with Vancouver this week.
Until next time.

Getting my wings back

My apologies dear readers, I've been slacking. I just checked and it's over a month since I last wrote - where did that time go? Well, I took on a new role at work, celebrated Patrick's 10th birthday, participated in a leadership course, attended a friend's book launch (more on that in a future post), and completed two more rounds of chemotherapy. So, y'know, it's not like I've been twiddling my thumbs!

(I hope you've all been working on the basis that 'no news is good news'.)

The last round of chemo (3 of 6) was a little tougher than the couple before. I was far more nauseous and fatigued (and I believe a little less conversational!), but I bounced back fairly quickly and was back at work by the middle of the following week. I do have the feeling that I'm more fortunate than many cancer patients I've read and heard about, who are completely incapacitated during chemotherapy treatments. Anyway, we're half-way through and I'm starting to think about life post-treatment.

When I started the blog in 2009, I called it 'Notes from Here and There' to write about the weird and wonderful places I was visiting as part of my job in Audit . My fervent hope is that this space returns to that idea in the spring. (If you're not a big reader of travel blogs then I won't be offended if you don't tune in!) The last round of chemo should be in February, then my oncologist has said that my immune system will take a month or so to recover, so I hope to start travelling again in April or May. Excited doesn't even come close!

One part of my new role (one of four Team Leads - less actual risk assessment, more coaching and planning) is organising which auditors go out to which global projects. I remember the immense excitement I felt in early 2010 when my Team Lead told me I would be going to India and Australia within a couple of months of each other. Now I'm on the other side of that conversation, it's both a pleasure to see colleagues' reactions (unless they're going to Iowa!) and a source of frustration as I want to be out there with them.

We do have a little trip coming up in a few weeks time. We need to go to Vancouver to renew our US visas. I'm already thrilled about the possibilities of seeing a city that I haven't been to before and is reportedly very beautiful. It always seems to appear in those lists of 'top 5 great cities to live'.

I'll finish with a great shot of Patrick and his friends at his birthday celebration, all finding it hilarious to shout 'fart' at just the right moment!

ps. A big shout out to my two readers in Bosnia & Herzegovina this month(or my one reader who read the same post twice!). Zdravo, kako ste?

Times when I forget

Last week I went for one of my (now quarterly) MRI scans and went through the results with the oncologist this morning. The scans show evidence of some scar tissue and radiation effects, but no concerning changes to either tumour site - just what we wanted to hear. Every time we go through this, the few days between scan and results are a little nerve-wracking. Again, it's just something we'll get more and more used to as time passes. The 'new normal' around here. Anyway, it was a good start to the week and I've also been signed off to start the second round of chemo tomorrow.

One thing I've noticed recently is a great feeling of actually forgetting that I'm a cancer patient. I think on some level I'm always conscious that I'm fighting it. There are the visual clues of hair loss and surgery scars; when I'm riding, part of me is thinking that every pedal stroke is kicking sand in cancer's face; and often when I'm driving I'll drift into 'how did I get here?' moments.

Recently though, I've experienced moments of being so completely involved in something that afterwards I realised that I hadn't given the battle a thought for a while. Recent examples include a couple of hours of hilarious fun on jet-skis with Craig, my oldest friend (he's not actually that old, I've just known him a long time!). Coaching Patrick's football team to a win (or even a loss) has a similar, all-consuming effect. An impromptu night of wine and laughs with Mary and Daniel works well too, I've found.
Anyway, the feeling is absolutely blissful and, happily, is becoming more common.

Before I sign off, I just wanted to post my favourite image of last week...Anna smiling during the Twin Cities marathon - her first (and now it seems, not her last!). I'm not going to gush too much here, but...SHE'S AWESOME!

That's all for now - big hugs

ps. Remember I mentioned a few weeks ago that my blog stats were showing up a couple of views from Tanzania (strange). This week I see that Latvia is the oddball country on the list. So, "hello" to my Latvian friend(s). When I get a hit from Kurdistan, I'll be a happy man.

Peace One Day

I've decided that today is a good day to write about world peace and about an initiative that celebrates that goal. I think it's all too easy with all that's going on in the world to focus on the negative and forget that there are people and organisations out there trying to make things better.

Peace One Day was started in 1999 by the British filmmaker, Jeremy Gilley, and aims to promote the idea of one day free of conflict and war. (I haven't seen it written anywhere, but I guess the goal is that if you can start with one day, why not two, and so on.) After a couple of years of meeting with heads of state, peace negotiators, NGOs, etc., Jeremy was able to convince the UN to pass a resolution declaring September 21st as a day of global ceasefire. The resolution was passed on 7th September 2001 and efforts to work towards the goal were lost a few days later.

Oh, I know what you're thinking...world peace is unattainable, a Pollyanna dream, but subsequent years of effort have shown that the world can still surprise us...

In 2007, Jeremy travelled with Jude Law to Afghanistan and managed to persuade not only NATO and Afghan forces but also the Taliban to hold a one-day ceasefire, allowing women and children to be vaccinated in hard-to-reach provinces. In Southern Sudan NGOs have used Peace Day to get additional food and vaccinations to war-torn regions. There are many other similar stories on the website.

Anyway, I'll leave it there and hope that others will continue to promote the idea. For me, it's a little like the climate change issue, we can choose to do nothing because it's just too difficult, or we can do something. I believe our kids will thank us for choosing the latter.

Oh, and how thoughtful that they should choose my birthday to celebrate the day!!

A short medical update - I completed the first of six monthly chemo treatments last week without too much drama. The dose went from 140mg during radiation up to 300mg this time and will increase to its maximum dose of 380mg next month. The side-effects were pretty much the same as before - mostly fatigue and stomach cramps - and the anti-nausea pills worked well. Now ready to get back on the bike to enjoy the beautiful fall colours.

Peace everyone!

Good times

Just a short note to post a few photographs and update on the last couple of weeks. We tried to take full advantage of my four-week break between radiation ending and chemo starting. Here's a taste:

My Dad and Margaret stayed with us for a week and we took in the Minnesota State Fair, a stroll along the heritage trail, the boys playing soccer, and lots of boating fun...

Check out the look of sheer terror!

(For anyone who would like to see more photographs of the fun on the lake - especially Richard's fun-boarding antics - there's a Picassa album here: 'boating fun')

A clear highlight of the last couple of weeks was competing in the Minneapolis Duathlon with Anna and some good friends of ours. Anna and Curt both ran the two 5k legs and I cycled the 18 miles in the middle with Mary. Unfortunately the official photographers didn't catch us on the course (I'm going to resist a joke about us going too fast) but my dad was on hand to take this photograph afterwards.

Last, but not least was a short trip to Lanesboro in southern Minnesota with Mary and Curt, their kids, Isabel and Alli (all in the photo below), and Carla and Daniel (not pictured). Time well spent on bike rides, a three hour tube ride down the root river (complete with a six pack for the grown-ups), lots of great food, good laughs, and way too much wine.

Outside Whalen's 'World Famous Pie Shop'

That's all for now - I'm off to have a lie down!
Until next time...

ps. There is a tool on my blog where I can view stats of how many people have read the blog (good for my ego, y'know) and where they are from. This month there were nine page views from Tanzania and, as I don't know anyone there, I'm curious to know...who's out there and are you enjoying the blog?

One year ago today...

My life was changed forever. I feel like I want to mark the occasion somehow, but I honestly don't know exactly how I feel about it. I know that some cancer patients mark the anniversary of the date they are pronounced 'cancer free'. But as I'm not, there's nothing to celebrate. This was the toughest year of my life. Anna and I reached the lowest lows and cried more tears than we had in the previous ten years. On the other hand, I've come through two surgeries, two tiring bouts of radiation, a few rounds of chemo, and I'm still fighting. Furthermore...

• I've grown closer to family and friends
• I'm appreciating the everyday moments more - bedtime chats with the boys, a good meal with friends, a chat and a glass of wine with Anna.
• I'm more conscious of how I look after my body
• I'm working hard and enjoying it more than ever
• I'm having more fun and laughs
• I don't dwell on what people think too much (a gift normally reserved for the elderly!)

I don't subscribe to the cliche that 'cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me'. But it has given me a new perspective, a greater focus on the important things, and made me (in Thoreau's words) "suck the marrow out of life". (More on that in the next post).

So, there, I've marked the occasion. It's not positive, it's not negative, it just is what it is.

End of radiation (2)

Yesterday I had my last round of radiation (again). I'm very happy about not being 'zapped' (as Anna dubbed it) every day, but most of all I think I'm happy about getting the time back. Although I was only in the hospital for 30 minutes or less, the round trip was an hour and a half, followed by some downtime and a nap - I was losing a good three hours or so a day. I'll take chemo until Friday and then have a four-week break for good behaviour! Higher dose chemo starts on September 12th and will run for 6 months.

We celebrated last night by going to our favourite Irish pub for some comfort food (mmm....shepherd's pie!) and a Guinness (for me, not the boys!).

Now I can get back to working full days again. Well, at least until I take vacation in a couple of weeks for the summer onslaught (am I allowed to say that out loud?) of family visitors.

In the words of a wise man..."and that's all I have to say about that".

Managing Energy

Sorry about the lack of posts lately. I guess there just hasn't been much to report (medically) and too much good stuff going on to spend time blogging. That's good though, right?

A lot of people have told me how well I look recently which has made me think a lot about people's perceptions and expectations of cancer; and how I'm managing my own treatment program.

While there are aspects of the treatment that are no fun (chemo stomach cramps, hair loss, sore scalp, etc.) I'm trying to focus more on managing energy than on controlling (or complaining about) side-effects. 

One thing I'm really happy about is that I've been able to work throughout the first four of these six and a half weeks of radiation/chemotherapy. I really only expected to last a couple of weeks and then take medical leave and now I'm hoping to just work through the whole thing. The one thing I've done to help is take a couple of Fridays as vacation to give me long weekends.

I've also tried to keep up with cycling and yoga (and napping) as much as possible to keep the energy reserves topped up. I don't always feel like it beforehand, but I'm always glad I did afterwards.

I've been asked a few times what's been different this time compared to the October/November treatments. I think the main differences are the faster recovery from the second surgery and the fact that I worked hard to get in shape before the surgery and up until this round of radiation.

One thing I do know...I have never felt as alive as I did last night watching U2, leaping around in the torrential rain to 'Elevation' - what a blast!

Here's my favourite photograph from the night...

The best use of time

I'm often asked (as I'm sure many cancer patients are), "has your perspective on life changed?". The short answer is 'yes, of course' but I'd like to clarify a little. Probably the main thing that I've given a lot of thought to is the use of time.

I suppose when time is precious, which it is for all of us, how we spend it comes into sharper focus. For example, the back of our garage has needed cleaning and tidying for weeks, but as long as the boys want to play a game or kick a ball around, it'll wait. The amount of time spent watching mindless TV has been drastically cut; books that don't grab me in the first 100 pages are cast aside; and I've taken a long, hard look at my social media intake. In fact, dear readers, it was touch and go whether the blog would be continued - unfortunately for you, it will be!

I remember a conversation I had many years ago with a close friend and we asked each other, "How would you change your life if you'd been given the all clear from cancer?". I never thought then that I would really have to make those changes, but here we are. My priorities now are now family time, living healthily, and making the most of free time - from coaching soccer to relaxing with a good book and a glass of wine. I'm also fortunate to have a job that I love, so no changes needed there.

All of this makes me wonder...why have I waited until now to make these mindful choices?

I'm very happy to report that today I achieved one of the goals that I set in this post - to be up on the wakeboard by the end of July!

I'll finish with a couple of shots of the boys from this weekend, using their time well!

Mayo visit 2

Anna and I went down to the Mayo Clinic on Friday to meet with the neuro-oncologist who we hoped would give us a definitive answer on what type of tumour was removed in the April surgery. The results he had suggested that it was the same type as before (Glioblastoma) but said that there was still some uncertainty and that he would ask for some additional pathology tests to be performed. He also suggested that I return to Mayo today to meet with the radiation oncologist to discuss treatment plans.

In today's meeting I found out that the pathologist has downgraded the tumour to an anaplastic astrocytoma (there will be a test at the end of this post!) which is a grade III glioma, based on the additional tests performed on Friday. Although this seems like good news, it doesn't change the treatment plan and the original tumour site remains the primary concern.

The treatment is basically a repeat of the combined radiation/chemotherapy I had before Christmas, then a break of a few weeks, followed by six months of higher dose chemotherapy. There are some risks associated with having two rounds of radiation so close together, but they are far outweighed by the risks of the tumour returning.

I know this is not the most upbeat post, but I feel like I've had a few days of talking about/thinking about brain tumours and the treatment plan for the next 7/8 months and it has taken its toll. Maybe I just need a change of subject (or a good bike ride).

Fragility (by Anna)

Anna wrote this a few days ago and I think it encapsulates perfectly a somewhat 'hidden' aspect of this journey.

http://annamongan.com/2011/06/08/fragility/